APPARENT
INTELLIGENCE
Smart is out. "Seeming Smart" is in.
Don't let a lack of education hold you back. Install our neural firmware and project unearned confidence instantly.
Smart is out. "Seeming Smart" is in.
Don't let a lack of education hold you back. Install our neural firmware and project unearned confidence instantly.
The human brain consumes approximately 20% of the body's energy to process information, form opinions, and generate original thoughts.
Studies show that actual intelligence requires years of education, reading, and critical thinking - resources that could be better spent on social media engagement and personal branding.
Why waste energy thinking when you can simply appear to think?
The AI-CHIP-7™ neural implant bypasses your brain's inefficient biological processes entirely.
Using proprietary Apparent Intelligence® algorithms, our chip analyzes conversations in real-time and generates contextually appropriate responses that make you sound informed, confident, and brilliant.
You don't need to understand quantum physics. You just need to sound like you do.
Patented technology for simulated competence
Our chip stimulates your Broca's area to automatically output words like "synergy," "deliverables," and "low-hanging fruit" whenever you feel threatened.
Projects stock market graphs directly onto your coworker's faces so you don't have to make eye contact.
Uses facial galvanism to force a confident smile even when you have no idea what is happening.
I used to work in the mailroom. After the surgery, I shouted 'BLOCKCHAIN' during a silent moment in a board meeting. Now I own the company. I also can't taste cheese anymore. 5 Stars.